Love In The Animal Kingdom - Part Two

Leo was not the only one to be glad that Hurricane Jessica had been frightened away by the smell of fire. Daisy the squirrel and Callum the cat had been taking the oppurtunity to take a stroll to the well to visit the body of MCD the rat, who they had known well when they had all been wild and happy together. Had Hurricane Jessica not been frightened off, they would most certainly both have met their doom somewhere in the bottom of the well.
Now Daisy was something of a pyromaniac squirrel, and when she caught sight of the flaming tent, she was unable to resist investigating. So as the tent combusted around Leo, and he was left exposed to the world, Daisy sat and watched.
Upon seeing Leo, Daisy was struck with such a lust for the porcupine that she was prepared to brave Hurricane Jessica and scuttle across open ground towards him. Luckily for her, the smell of burning had already reached Hurricane Jessica, and the storm whirled off angrily, leaaving Daisy safe.
Let us not go too deeply into the details of their first, passionate meeting. Let it be enough to say that stumstums were tickled.
Callum watched on. Then, with a shrug, he turned and made his way to the house. Mel was standing in the doorway, blinking confusedly in the sunlight. The wierdness of the events of the previous few days was beginning to make her head feel funny.
When she saw Callum, though, she grinned. "You won't go transforming on me, will you?" she said to him. The cat looked at her reproachfully, as though surprised that she would even suggest such a thing.
"Wanna come in?"
Callum nodded slowly, and Mel let the new family member into the house. How long he will last before he too ends up meeting a very strange end - probably as a victim of Hurricane Jessica -remains to be seen.

After all, she hasn't killed anyone in this chapter. She's getting very, very angry...

The Tent

Leo did not appreciate being carried out the house, but strangely he seemed to have no opinion on whether he was a porcupine or not...
But it was now a race for survival, it was a known fact that within a hour of a human turning into a porcupine they would grow to an amazing size. As soon as he was big enough to be spotted, Leo realised hurricane Jessica would pounce and possibly blow him into the well!
Being a clever fellow, he decided he would have to hide out in a inconspicuous place for the time being. So he went to B&Q and bought a bright yellow tent in the hope it would blend in with the Sun.
How Leo seemed to pay for this tent we may never know, but he did, and a couple of minutes later he was back and putting the tent up next to the well.
Leo, however, was no human-to-porcupine morphing expert, and did not realise how big he would grow. But we shall leave him to do as he wishes, and get into the cramped tent.


Half an hour later...


The seams were bursting, and there was a pling, pling, pling as the tent was pushed apart from the inside. Leo had grown to a massive size, even for a porcupine. Suddenly the tent spontaneously combusted, and Leo the porcupine was sat in the glaring sunlight of the afternoon, awaitng Hurricane Jessica's treatment. It did not take long before she smelled the smell of fire. She was very careful when she smelt that smell, and she went on her way towards the well....

The Longest Title In The History Of The Well, Featuring A Porcupine, A Death That Doesn't Involve Hurricane Jessica, And One That Does

"Ouch."
Mel rolled over and landed on something spikey. This worried her slightly, as the last she'd checked, her new husband had't had spikes.
She looked at the spikey something. It was a porcupine. A porcupine that, never the less, looked a lot like Leo.
"Oh, for goodness's sakes," said Mell irritably. "Just when I thought things couldn't get any wierder around here."
She then called for her daughters, instructing them to take Leo the porcupine outside and set him free.
They were just walking past the well on their way back when Hannah slipped on a unicorn turd - by remarkable coincidence, the last unicorn on Earth, Bernard, had visited only six minutes previously - and, by yet another remarkable coincidence, fell into the well. Kat and Vicky rushed to the edge of the well, just in time to watch the body of their sister tumbling down into the depths of the well, bouncing off Jade's trunk as she went.
Hurricane Jessica was so furious that someone had died without her being involved, she immedietly decided to take revenge on anyone she could find. Vicky and Kat decided that being in the house with Mel and Leo wasn't so bad after all, and ran away as quickly as possible. This meant that the only living thing Hurricane Jessica could find was poor old Bernard, who hadn't wanted to be here anyway and now found himself swept up and deposited, surprise surprise, in the well. Unfortunately his single horn got ripped off by one of Jade's branches on the way down, and he bled to death. In this way, unicorns came to be extinct on Earth.
When Vicky and Kat later returned to the well, they decided that, as Mel still wasn't entirely enthusiastic about cannibalism, they would eat Bernard first, and leave their sister's body for another time.
All this was observed by Leo the porcupine (him being so small, Hurricane Jessica had overlooked him), with a vague feeling that events in this village were starting to go from the unlikely to the plain ridiculous.

The Wedding

And so it came to be that Mel and Leo married in the well. It was decided that the honour of witnessing the marriage should be bestowed upon Kat and Vicky. After all, they were pretty much the only other people alive and [reasonably] sane.

'I, Leo, take thee, Mel, to be my lawful, wedded husband.'

'Excuse me!'

'I, Leo Joseph Sollitt, take thee, Melody Victoria Heath, to be my lawful, wedded husband.'

'Whatever you say, Leo.'

So the register was signed by all present, and Mel [looking a little disgusted at the thought that she had just become Leo's 'husband'] decided to take 'You may now kiss the bride' rather literally. Several hours later, the congregation decided it was no longer practical for Leo and Mel to be allowed within a five metre radius of each other. Luckily, at that moment, the usually unrelenting Hurricane Jessica made the one merciful strike of her time, and successfully separated the busy couple. Mel wasn't too pleased, but it was good for most of the inhabitants of Cumja [especially Leo].

Next it was time to cut the cake. To hell with knives... Callum the Ninja Cat, with a swift movement of his front right-hand paw, managed to slice the entire four-tier cake into six cleanly cut slices - glass tiers and all.

As was traditional in Cumja, Mel opened her overly hench mouth and stuffed in her whole slice of cake. The standard of said cake had fallen dramatically since the tragic death of Molly... However, unperturbed, she swallowed the cake whole. At this point Leo and Kat had to save her from choking - Kat performing the Heimlich Manouevre several times whilst Leo tried to reach Mel and give her the Kiss of Life. Unfortunately, as Hurricane Jessica was still in the vicinity, Leo could not go within five metres of Mel; consequently Vicky had to give Mel mouth to mouth instead; something for which Mel was eternally grateful. Unsurprisingly, Vicky wasn't so pleased about it. Nor was Leo. How could his new spouse be kissing other people so soon after their marriage? Especially another girl...

The Wedding

It was quickly becoming apparent for the last six residents of Cumja, that the village would soon die out at the rate these people were getting killed. So after they had finished eating chrabs, Mel decided she should make an announcement.

"I've been thinking this through, and I have decided that I am going to marry Leo soon."

Mel did not like hanging around.

After much careful planing (about five minutes), and talking through the money issues (of which there were none, they can get everything for free. Everyone else is dead, remember.) it was decided that Mel and Leo would marry that very day.

The venue was decided to be in the Well, and there would be a magnificent wedding cake. Kat thought it was unlikely for them to get a cake in the surrounding county of Cumjashire, due to this famine, but she was wrong. The wedding cake had four layers, and had a model of the bride and groom on top, along with a lot of sharp burning candles.

Let the wedding commence...

A Moonlight Swim and Yet Another Attack from Hurricane Jessica

That night, Mel and Leo, who had wasted no time in moving in together after Michael's untimely death, were lying in bed when they heard the sounds of strong winds building up, signalling the return of Hurriane Jessica.
"There she goes again," thought Leo.
"At least everone's safe in bed," thought Mel.
As it was, she was wrong about this, however. Chrabs had decided for some odd reason to go swimming in the well that night - apparently the fact that the dead bodies of half his family were bobbing around down there didn't bother him. Alternatively, he may just have wanted to spend some quality time inside the well, whose name was Coral, incidentally.
Hurricane Jessica, meanwhile, was extremely annoyed that there were no humans wandering around for her to massacre, and decided instead to take her rage out on Jade, a tree standing near to the well. She wrenched Jade out of the ground by the roots, and whipped her up into the air, finally depositing her, by an incredible stroke of coincidence (or fate, or possibly just because I say so, damn it!), into the well.
Chrabs was just watching a severed arm floating past (probably that of Jethro, or possibly Molly) when Jade fell down out of the sky, hitting him on the head and rendering him immedietly dead.
Vicky came out of the house next morning to find Jade's trunk sticking out of Coral's hole. It took a while, due to the number of things now clogging up the well, for her to make out her brother's corpse. When she did, she realised that she had no hope of pulling out past the tree with her trusty fishing rod, so intstead she asked Leo to climb down the tree and pull Chrabs out.
Mel, at first protesting a bit at the thought of eating another family member - all that human meat couldn't be good for them - soon shut up when Leo ripped his shirt off before making his way heroically down the tree. So the family ate well again that day.

Hooker!

Hurricane Jessica died back down again, after successfully sweeping the dead Jethro and blue 140 into the Well.

When Vicky decided it was safe to go out again, she ran quickly to the Well, and peered down at the dark items inside of it. She was worried for the safety of the villiagers; this was their only water supply and it was getting filled by buses and corpses!

It was approaching lunchtime by this point, so she decided that she would make use of Jethro's fresh meat, and the family would eat it.

After hurrying quickly to the shed, she pulled out the fishing rod, and hooked a hook onto the end of it.

Back at the well she swung the hook into the well, trying to catch onto any part of him she could. But, alas, she could not succeed. There was so little of the boy, that it was impossible to pick him up.

Calling for help, Callum and Daisy leapt out of their trees and slowly crept down into the forbidding blackness of the well.

Quickly they attached the hook to Jethros left index finger, and Vicky pulled him out of the Well.

once again there was enough food for the entire family, but Mel was slightly worried about the fact that the family appeared to be turning into cannabals.

Hurricane Jessica Strikes back

It was mid day and it was getting a bit windy. This could only mean one thing. HURRICANE JESS WAS ON HER WAY! But no one could expect or predict what was going to happen next. All the leaves started to blow around and daisy went up high into her tree. Callum, after seeing daisy hurry up her tree crawled up there with her. Suddenly a huge hurricane was visable and everything was getting blown away. After seeing Daisy (who was one of his best friends) hanging onto a branch for dear life with callum holding onto her tail hurried outside. He scurried out of the shack and into the yard. BUT as soon as Jethro had reached the tree where daisy and callum were he got lifted up into the air by hurricane jessica and got sucked into her! The manky blue 140 was also in the air with him! DISASTER! After deciding that sucking up jehtro and the blue 140 was good enough for her she left. And that was the end of jethro who remarkably ended up in the well with the 140.

Love in the Animal Kingdom

On the morning following Hurricane Jessica's first attack, a cat named Callum was sitting on the wall of the well, licking his paws in a bored sort of way. If he knew that four bodies and a head were floating in the water below him, it didn't seem to bother him. But then, he had more interesting things to think about.

He looked up as a pretty squirrel, known as Daisy, hopped into view. She looked up at Callum and smiled, and he smiled down at her. He jumped down from the wall, and bent his head for Daisy to jump on. The squirrel giggled (and if you've never heard a squirrel giggling, which I expect you haven't, you should know that it's quite a wierd sound) and she scampered up, curling herself up cozily on the back of his neck. Calllum and Daisy then prowled off on a long, romantic walk.

Jethro was watching all this from the house, and smiled. He considered the squirrel to be one of his best friends, and was glad to see her so happy, especially as he had told her all along that her and the cat were a perfect match. Because of this, he vowed now that he would never let anything hurt Callum and Daisy.

Little did he know as he made that promise how much it would cost him later on...

Hurricane!

The sneeze was the beginning.
Hurricane Jessica started to brew South of the Well, and quickly a large wind was gusting through Cumja.
Unfortunately, with Michaels large nose, he became an easy target for Hurricane Jessica. While he was stood there spying on Leo and Mel, the gust of wind caught his nose. It pulled his head round and round and round and round, succesfully breaking his neck.
Mel finally spotted him, as his body fell into the well, and she ran quickly from the rampant activities taking place in the bush.
Kat and Vicky also saw him fall into the Well, and spotting a opportunity, once again retrieved their fishing rod.
The family ate well again, and noone died of hunger that night.
Little did they know that Hurricane Jessica was planning her next attack....

The Deadly Sneeze

Meanwhile, on the other side of the village of Cumja, Mel, one of the parents of vicky and kat, was picking carrots in a field. She noticed that leo was also in the field, but she decided to try and ignore him.
But she couldn't resist, and they ran towards eachother in slo-motion, and jumped into a bush for a "friendly chat"
Micheal, the father of kat and vicky, (mels husband) saw this act of disgrace, and sneezed in shock. Little did he know that this sneeze would be just the beginning...

A Broken Heart and Corpse #3

Unforunately, Grandma Molly took the death of her beloved husband quite badly. Overcome with grief, she staggered out to the well and peered down. The severed head of Grandad Sam peered back up at her. Quite how his head came to be seperated from his body, we may never know, but there you go.

Molly let out a heart-wrenching sob, and clambered over the edge of the well. "I'm coming, dear one!" she cried dramatically, before plunging down into the well to join the man she loved.

Vicky emerged from the house just in time to see her grandma toppling down to her death. She sighed, making a mental note that, due to the number of corpses floating in it, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to drink water from the well for a while.

Well...

After the accidental death of Mcd the rat, Kat took a fishing rod and fished the corpse out of the water. She carried it back to the hut, and the family had it for tea, while mourning.
But the famine was not yet over, and sadly later that day Grandad Sam died of hunger.
Vicky decided she didn't like dead bodys hanging around the house, so she took Sams body and what was left of Mcd later that day and threw them in the Well....

The Legend of the Well..

In a village of Cumja (!!!) lived a very very poor familywho were in poverty. The grandparents, the parents the kids. And not forgetting the pet rat!! Also a cat and a squirrel lived their too aswell as an old and spindley tree. All was well until a great famine struck Cumja. it was a disaster =O However one of teh sisters (called kat) got a bit carried away and had always had it in for the pet rat ever since it bit her on the hip! So one day she took him to the local well and "accidentally" pushed into the well where he drowned. Shocking.

All The Characters

This might get complicated;

Molly and Sam are the grandparents
Mel and Michael are the parents
Kat, Vicky, Hannah, Chrabs and Jethro are the children
Mcd is the pet rat
Jade is a tree
Leo is the fit person that lives in the villiage
Jess is the hurricane
Callum is a cat
Daisy is a squirrel
Coral is The Well
Red 140 and blue 140 star as themselves