The Longest Title In The History Of The Well, Featuring A Porcupine, A Death That Doesn't Involve Hurricane Jessica, And One That Does

"Ouch."
Mel rolled over and landed on something spikey. This worried her slightly, as the last she'd checked, her new husband had't had spikes.
She looked at the spikey something. It was a porcupine. A porcupine that, never the less, looked a lot like Leo.
"Oh, for goodness's sakes," said Mell irritably. "Just when I thought things couldn't get any wierder around here."
She then called for her daughters, instructing them to take Leo the porcupine outside and set him free.
They were just walking past the well on their way back when Hannah slipped on a unicorn turd - by remarkable coincidence, the last unicorn on Earth, Bernard, had visited only six minutes previously - and, by yet another remarkable coincidence, fell into the well. Kat and Vicky rushed to the edge of the well, just in time to watch the body of their sister tumbling down into the depths of the well, bouncing off Jade's trunk as she went.
Hurricane Jessica was so furious that someone had died without her being involved, she immedietly decided to take revenge on anyone she could find. Vicky and Kat decided that being in the house with Mel and Leo wasn't so bad after all, and ran away as quickly as possible. This meant that the only living thing Hurricane Jessica could find was poor old Bernard, who hadn't wanted to be here anyway and now found himself swept up and deposited, surprise surprise, in the well. Unfortunately his single horn got ripped off by one of Jade's branches on the way down, and he bled to death. In this way, unicorns came to be extinct on Earth.
When Vicky and Kat later returned to the well, they decided that, as Mel still wasn't entirely enthusiastic about cannibalism, they would eat Bernard first, and leave their sister's body for another time.
All this was observed by Leo the porcupine (him being so small, Hurricane Jessica had overlooked him), with a vague feeling that events in this village were starting to go from the unlikely to the plain ridiculous.